Never Back Down

2009-07-01T15:19:00.000-07:00

Days of our Canada

Sometimes when I'm arguing with Americans about how great Canada is they say things like, "Oh yeah, well if we hadn't invented grunge Canadian music would be totally irrelevant." At the time, all I can do is stutter something like "Rainbow Butt... oh forget it." But later, I slam this URL into their email.

2009-06-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

I Sentence You To Fuck Jennifer Aniston

In a port-a-potty at Bonnaroo

2009-05-27T13:59:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, I work so hard, I just lose track of everything

2009-04-30T10:34:00.001-07:00

The FBI: It's Not Just About Inspecting Female Bodies Anymore

2009-04-01T11:15:00.000-07:00

Canada Funny

The front page of the National Post today read "Miss Universe Enjoys Visit To Guantanamo Bay - Full Story A3" From what I remember this paper is just cynical enough to follow a story like this and this crazy world is just crazy enough to give them one, so I didn't blink. Things are fucked up like that, I thought. Later my Mom was relating this APRIL FOOLS JOKE to my sister on the phone. "My son, the doctoral student," she says, "doesn't even get an April Fools joke, figures." So what, does Michel Houellebecq work for the Post now?

Anyway, on A3 there's some story about a mexican drug lord reaching the Forbes magazine's richest people list, a woman opening fire in a B.C. nursing home, and painting the Eiffel tower brown. I asked my mom how we're supposed to know which of the stories is real and she said, "Oh, they tell you tomorrow." THAT'S INSANE.

It's a crazy world.

They should sell tickets.

I'd buy one.

2009-03-04T22:21:00.000-08:00

Google Search Terms of Our Lives

A phrodite's child 666
B lack cock Harvey
C hewbacca leia sex
D aniel defoe oyster man
E asy going gay time latin
F at raver
G eneration next
H oliday jazz
I f you want to roam around the world lyrics
J azzy Christmas
K arla devito
L eather disco
M aurice icecold pepper
N ice n' easy sail
O lympics 2012
P rincess leia fucking Chewbacca
Q ueen and Wilson Toronto
R icky lee jones 1963
S haron stone nude
T echno bush
U rban danger
V ancouver nightmare
Willie Ninja hot
Y ou're the kind of woman I need lyrics
Z elda ocarina

Also, I would like to know who typed "daniel dafoe oyster man," "brain police phantom band," and WWQM FM 88 Willie Watkins into my computer.

2009-02-19T13:10:00.000-08:00

History of the 1980s Part III: Latch-Key Kids

With both parents working, kids had to fend for themselves after school, and quickly mastered not only snack-making technologies, but also recording techniques.

2009-01-23T10:42:00.000-08:00

Remember Punk??

From the Fucked Up blog

2008-12-24T13:43:00.000-08:00

Here's Hoping All Your Christmas Fantasies Become Real!

Love, truth, power, pride, and glory,

Nathan

2008-12-12T11:39:00.000-08:00

Canadian Xtreme Dad v. American Xtreme Dad

It's not Father's Day, but holy shit did anyone read this Globe and Mail Facts and Arguments the other day?

American Extreme Dad

2008-11-24T15:16:00.001-08:00

C'mon Down to Youtube's Place for Trip Down the Ol' Memory Hole!

Calling this youtube "Racist Ad" makes it kind of like watching "When Animals Attack." You're on the edge of your seat the whole time wondering when things are going to fly off the handle and all of the sudden.... YOWZA!

Next on your tour of the 1980s Fear Factory, Bernard Shaw asking the very first question of the 1988 Bush-Dukakis debate.

2008-11-19T12:49:00.000-08:00

Brooklyn State of Mind

Whenever you tell me about a new band that you heard, this is what I imagine in my mind.

Seriously, seriously, seriously!

A few thoughts:

1) This is NOT a parody clip from The New Ben Stiller Show.

2) I cannot stop watching the singer's wince-y, amazing babyfat face squeeze little poopballs out of his sphinxter into his afro-textile diaper.

3)Put your mind in the time and place this video was conceived.

4) Weird story: I watched this video on The Fader website a few days ago and shrugged. Then it popped into my head the other night before I was going to sleep (aka my "MindLab") and I thought, "Wow, The Fader are basically uncritical shills with very suspect taste." Only today, on the bus, did I think about it again and go, "WHAT THE FUCK THAT VIDEO IS SO NASTY."

2008-11-13T11:50:00.001-08:00

Walking the Edge (1983)

Have you always wanted to see a movie where a former semi-pro baseball player looser played by Robert Forster drives a cab around Hollywood with his t-shirt tucked into his sweatpants? Oh yeah, he also gives everyone hugs because, he says, "Did you know you're supposed to get three hugs a day?" Oh, and one more thing, a multi-racial gang lead by Joe Spinell is trying to kill him.

Don't ever go to the batting cages with Spinell.

2008-10-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

At Any Given Moment...

... Someone is ingeniously designing a new jazz graphic with a twist.

How cute is this thing?

2008-10-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

Enough!

If there's one "moment" from the 20th century that deserves never to be heard from again, it's "the Beats." Take a look at this awful awful press release.

>
> DOC FILMS PRESENTS
>
> DIRECTOR'S PRIVATE ADVANCED SCREENING
>
> "CORSO - THE LAST BEAT"
>
> The Beats are back. Ever cool, ever hip. "*Corso – The Last Beat*"
> introduces the icons of "The Beat Generation" – Jack Kerouac, Allen
> Ginsberg, William Burroughs AND Gregory Corso. ETHAN HAWKE, two
> time Academy Award Nominee, takes us on an on the road discovery of
> GREGORY CORSO - the most colorful of the inner circle of THE BEATS,
> writers who changed world culture and social history.
>
>
>
> Dialogue with director Gustave Reininger ('73)
> after screening
>
> 4:00 PM Thursday, October 23
> Admission Free
> Doc Films - Max Palevsky Cinema
> Ida Noyes Hall - University of Chicago
> (773) 702-8575
> contact: edo@uchicago.edu
> rfhall@uchicago.edu

It goes on to say how Gregory Corso invented hip-hop! I read the first few lines of Howl on a billboard in the TTC once, half of On The Road in high school (before I got bored), and saw William S. Burroughs in a Nike ad in the late nineties. Put it to bed!

In other news, my new nickname is "Boomtown."

2008-10-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

Consumer Rights

2008-09-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

SARAH PALIN RNC ROUNDTABLE TEXT-A-THON

She has five children: track, willow, dirt bike, gas can, and eyeball.

Hot for teacher?

My sister nailed it: palin is manager of sparkle motion

Her son’s name is TRACK?

That’s their youngest: empty ice cream container.

Too young to breast feed it seems but what do I know?

Obama wants back massages for terrorists!

If O is elected the rainbow factory will close!

Shit, I think the clean coal and rainbow powered a/c unit broke down

I may formulate plans to impregnate willow

Or pipes?

I’m watching speech re: American politics

That baby is not breathing

We all need our kinky parts smoothed out once in awhile

2008-08-28T12:47:00.000-07:00

I Love My Life Because It Takes Me To Corners of the Internet That No One Else Would Ever Care To Visit

User Comments (Comment on this title)
6 out of 13 people found the following comment useful:-
A Good Hearted Movie, 5 January 2003
Author: Freebird2 from USA

I can't believe this movie is so trashed and Ms.DeMornay got a worst actress award and "Razzie" award.Number one if you only watch a movie to see nudity,you must be a loser.To me it was a story of an independent woman who had some speed bumps in her life.She understands some men use women and vice versa for their own conveniences.So do the men she deals with only Billy is a decent guy too.The relationship was both business and free spirited romance and if you've never experienced free spirited romance(I'm not God's gift to word composition)you haven't lived. She's both tough and vulnerable,she has to be, because of her background.I like the saying "If your two hours late,you might as well not go in at all".Too much is made of this and that in movies,I recommend watching it.I'll be getting the DVD as soon as my own economy improves.

Was the above comment useful to you? (Report this)

Best of all, guess where I got this image from? HERE!

Man, this blog is so garbagey. It's really turned into just the worst of the worst.

2008-08-03T19:49:00.000-07:00

Last Days

slab exercise

Bagel Goldberger-on-the-Lake

Party Pak

Karaoke prep

2008-08-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

Two Girls, One Dropped Cherry

2008-07-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

Don't Cry For Me, Mississauga

When you become part of the Canadian expatriate diaspora CTV newscasters become hilarious and you start almost crying when you listen to things like this.

Courtesy of the pretty amazing Art Decade.

2008-07-03T10:04:00.000-07:00

Respect.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Téa Leoni please? As you can see from the IMDB message board, she gets no respect. The Naked Truth? Flirting With Disaster? Come on, people.

Also, when you talk about TL, you have to say "leggy comedienne." It's basically the law.

2008-06-28T16:06:00.000-07:00

Don't Harsh my Yellow

Remember that David Sedaris book where he writes about going to flea markets in Paris and being able to buy human skulls and alligator fetuses? Well Saint-Ouen's not really like that. More like a lot of postcards, Johnny Hallyday records, and t-shirts that say "Ma Banilieue." I did find out though that, in France, Short Circuit 2 was called Applez-moi Johnny 5 .

Anyway, traveling solo has its ups and downs. I'm not accountable to anyone and can do or not do whatever I want. On the way to Colette (so gross) I was a block away from the Louvre and didn't even entertain the notion of going in and I bet you a million dollars that if I was with someone else we'd be like "Should we go? I don't know, should we?" for twenty minutes and then freak out about if we were ruining each other's France experience.

Plus, I really do just love hanging out in my canary yellow hotel room at Residence des Gobelins and watching Ulysses 31 reruns and The Enforcer in German.

Had the worst butter chicken of my life today. The worst.

2008-06-27T11:40:00.000-07:00

Paris Flash

So today I saw Henri Langlois and Serge Gainsbourg's grave, went to the goddamn Eiffel Tower, then to this electroclash shopping zone. Just ate a pizza -- not the one with the egg on top unfortunately -- and bought two tall cans of Kronenburg, which are now cooling in the sink. Going to Trevor Jackson and Pilooski tonight.

2008-06-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

Newsflash

I'm in Paris, where they are celebrating, surprise surprise, 400 years of Quebec. They have great sandwiches but hardly any drip coffee. I don't think I've had a real conversation in like 4 days. This afternoon in my hotel room I watched this great euro action movie about a jew who avenges some terrorist attack all around Paris. I haven't even seen the Eiffel Tower yet and they moved the APC store. I was supposed to do archival research, but I went through all the materials in about 3 hours and there wasn't really anything I could use (guess who funded my trip?). Tomorrow I think I will go to the catacombs, Versailles, or Montmartre. Everyone here is pretty sexy, but they're into kind of stupid stuff -- like a picture of Shakespeare with a word bubble that says "What's up?"

Update: Taste of home: Kid Sister's Beeper just came on the Virgin station.

Update II: Followed by Simple Plan. WTF?? What next? Tokyo Police Scene?

2008-06-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

St. Louis

Before this past weekend, this was about all I knew about St. Louis.

Now though, I know that they also filmed Escape from New York there and that their regional culinary specialties include toasted ravioli and provolone pizza.

I was there for an urban visual studies workshop, and we were all excited to visit the site of the Pruitt-Igoe housing development. Built in the 1950s, Pruitt-Igoe's Le Corbusier-like design was slated for lower-income residents.

But, like similar designs in other major American cities, the design seemed to produce more problems than it solved and was torn down in the 1970s, an event regarded as the death knell of modernist architecture. Since its destruction nothing has been built on the site -- it's overgrown with plants and apparently populated by wild dogs. Apparently this scene, depicting Pruitt-Igoe destruction, from Koyannisqatsi is being used in current Grand Theft Auto IV trailers.

Oh yeah, I also walked by Eddie Izzard eating at an outdoor patio. I looked at him, and he looked at me with that kind of "I-know-you-recognize-me" face.

2008-05-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

Get Burned?

I have some sonic aloe.

2008-05-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

Pardon My Manners

Here are the songs the shitty pub-with-sidewalk patio-that-pays-cops-to-skirt-noise-bylaws-and-occasionally-parks-cigarette boats, rented sportscars, and/or ninetendo x-box mobiles across the street from my house has played for me already tonight, harshing not only my hawkeye exam focus but also killing future jam status at future parties and good-time events (with comments):

-"Goldigger" - Kind of gold-standard status. Maybe unkillable

-"Ery'body in the club get tipsy" (?) - Barely heard it, indifference must've killed auditory stimulus.

-"Sexy, Can I" - This song slightly ruled me, mainly on the strength of Young Berg's verse, for about 1.5 days two weeks ago. You get three quarrters through it though and he mentions "sliding up and down a pole" and it turns out "sexy" is a stripper and that's just gross. Am I just naive? Do strippers actually have "Gucci on the feet, Marc Jacobs on the thigh"? Maybe Ray J just has a pole in his house. A house pole.

-"Flashing Lights" - unkillable.

-"American Boy" - Heavy on the Kanye much, "Pint"? Not sure this song has "legs" really, and I don't need to listen to it vis a vis re: speakers from cars playing it all over my ears. BUT, BLITZKRIEG, anyone? "Can-Indian Boy"? Pretty good, tho not enough Canadian references.

[Woah, someone just said, "Get in there, hammer!" at the bar!]

-Some other stuff, maybe Technotronic and Public Enemy and Bob Marley or some sort of playlist that a shitty fake-pub- Guiness-sponsored satellite radio station run by part-time Pandora employees throws together. You know, later on they'll get "real" and throw on some Johnny Cash.

-If they play Wiz Khalifa or Wiley we'll see how unfuckwithable my chosen summer jams are.

Oh yeah, here's this guy, "Community Watch" (The "o" should be the picture of an open eye). He is on my street everyday either hanging out in front of his car (which he may live in) or riding his bike with the frisbee stuck in the spokes down the sidewalk, deftly weaving between pedestrians. He looks like Beethoven and I haven't figured exactly what his perversion is yet. Like maybe he falls off his bike onto people?

Also, he sometimes tries to sell his parking spot.

2008-05-15T20:52:00.000-07:00

Keep On Rolling

The other day I was eating lunch out on the "quad" and some guy rode up on a unicycle, dismounted, then pulled some juggling pins out and started getting really heavy with my I-gotta-get-out-of-this-place vibe.

That really happened, but also I have completed two 36 hour exams in the past week, and tomorrow is the last one. I ran out of contacts and have been wearing my low-perscription glasses and I can't tell if I'm giving people uncomfortable stares or not. The situation is better than adderall for distraction though.

Here is a bulleted list of my plans:

- Dancehall summersplash

-St. Louis for "workshop"

-Steak et frites

-Not commuting 2 hours everyday

-Dodge. Hell out.

P.S. It's great that the office has a new HR person, but I'm gonna miss Toby so much. Seriously, most fave underrated character. I try to do Toby imitations all of the time, but it's really hard.

2008-05-03T17:20:00.000-07:00

Miss Imaginary Canada Much?

I bought this record recently in New York because I tend to buy things Canadian even if I'm kind of on the fence about how they sound. BUT, it has since then migrated to my ipod.

Apparently it sold pretty well in the States due to its popularity in New York discos. When I hear it though, I imagine the dancefloor at the Kee to Bala and Late Greats on CityTV.

Ugh, Chicago.

2008-05-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hair Dramz

N: Dear Josh, I am sorry that I did not notice your new beard. If you like we can go to that new beard store at the mall this weekend. Xo, Nathan

J: I can barely write you this message because the tears have rusted away my cell phone chassis. But maybe the sun will shine on me today...

N: Just be good, and I will take you to La Bearderie

N: Formerly Beardables.

J: My Dad used to take me there after Sunday brunch. We would spend hours drawing combs through the practice mannequins.

That happened this morning, but guess what else? My correspondent here was recently asked to be in an AllState advertisement. The concept of the ad was a normal* American family portrait being invaded by an unsavory visitor. Being that Josh's look is 1986 tilt-a-whirl operator, he was perfect for the job. We got to see the proofs, but because the ad was the kind that only pops up once in awhile (like when you log out of yahoo mail or your pinkberry account) we never got to see it.

However, there were some people who DID get to see it, and they are not happy.

Let's just say that there's a storm of controversy brewing among a certain interest group with a very large membership, global connections and massive spending power.

*What is "normal" right? Do we even know? I'm having some people over in my dorm room later if you want to come over.

2008-04-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes You Just Need To Get Away

Don't tell Dad (DTD).

2008-04-12T23:18:00.000-07:00

Mix Tape

Here is a new mix tape. No Diana, but the pic kinda captures the vibe. There's some overlap from the last one.

2008-04-10T19:31:00.000-07:00

Minor New York Groove Thing

Can you believe I was in city of New York for two weeks and only took 8 pictures? Well that is what happened.

Lisa and Pauly rrrule. We spent a few hang-overs together cracking each other up in a major way. I learned and confirmed many things from Lisa and Pauly. For example: Americans are not funny. So true, ask anyone. I know about 2 funny people in Chicago. The rest are radically unfunny.

Lisa knew how to ask questions that struck to the heart of the matter. Like, it's alright to want to party, but are you committed to sustainable partying? Her philosophy revolves around avoiding high pressure systems and maintaining low pressure ones. Good call. My sustainable party philosophy dovetails nicely: I subscribe to the minor-groove movement. When you're with your buds and you are getting down you not only have to be wary of high-pressure areas, but also buzz-kill zones. BKZs like waiting for the subway, or taking a really long cab ride lay in wait, hoping to strike your party DEAD. To keep the party going, you need to keep up a very minor groove. Think of a song, hum it, and bop or shuffle a little. If you're not into music, look around you; everything is funny (hint: if you are over the age of 25 everyone now looks like someone you once knew). Now go, guy, party yourself.

2008-03-16T14:54:00.000-07:00

J: I hate the way Baristas project their voice when they talk to each other, like whoever is around is a part of their conversation.

N: I would like to discuss this more later. This movie is so cute, I think I am gonna cry [ed. note: I was watching 27 Dresses].

N: Basistas think their lives are sooo interesting, they just want to share them with the world.

J: I KNOW. Its like the only way they can communicate with each other is to engage everyone in the vicinity.

N: They do this thing where they are talking to their coworkers, but also looking around to see who is listening.

N: Possible topics: impossible roommates, land lord disputes, international travel experiences, "stalkers."

N: Also: Shift trade dramas.

J: And that rock n roll videogame.

N:Is there any way we could get money or recognition for such biting and incisive social observation?

J: If only!

N: Maybe a column in the local alternative weekly

J: Call it "sex in the city," or "city guys."

N: City guys! I am rolling on the floor laughing, and laughing out loud.

2008-03-05T23:08:00.000-08:00

Things That Most Other People Like But That I Dislike

- Sushi

- Most Woody Allen Films, especially Annie Hall

- Pedro Almodovar

- Atom Egoyan

- Mushrooms

- Lost

- Freedom

2008-02-26T17:26:00.000-08:00

Excuse Me, Would You Like Your World Ruled?

This album is pretty high on my want list right now, elusive despite its seeming non-rarity. Along with "Shawty Is A Ten" I jam to this on a daily basis.

2008-02-24T22:57:00.001-08:00

The Year in Pictures

That's my hand, and that's Josh, and in the background is Josh's "chili."

Broing nowhere

Saturday night how we do.

Josh and Joe bottomfeeding classic shrimp cocktail.

I'm not even sure how I was going to use this.

Warming rays of glow

2008-02-19T14:36:00.000-08:00

So You Had a Bad Day: Part 3,345

As part of some sort of karmic punishment for my abandonment of the "independent" coffee shop in favor of starbucks, I slipped on ice, banging my knee on the pavement and throwing guatemala antigua costa rica jamaica all over the place and myself. This happened in front of group of people waiting for the bus, and a possibly mentally handicapped garbage collector guy, who seemed scared -- like he didn't know what to do except to keep on asking me if I was okay. I finally dismissed him and went back to Starbucks to clean up (I know, right? Should I have gone to the mom and pop place instead? Would they have given me a hot towel, refilled my coffee with the non-exploitive brand, then tousled my hair and sent me on my way?

Speaking of coffee, are you so bold that you must always have the bold coffee from starbucks? First of all, it leaves a weird film on your teeth and tastes like shit, dumbass. Second of all, it does not have more caffeine, do your homework, boldface. Third of all, who's doing the name-calling here, 4,900,576 person to write in their blog about starbucks?

I thought that there might be more bulleted components to this bad day, but actually, no. And actually, my knee felt better by the end of the day. So basically, there is no lesson to be learned here, no moral to be espousalled.

2008-02-15T14:45:00.000-08:00

Oh NO, Not the Beast Day

I'm not sure if you, the reader, feel this way but I am still trying to wrap my head around why I like that Double video so much. I think that it reminds me of what I thought adults were like as kid -- or at least it passes for something like eighties adult culture. I like the song and the aesthetic of the video--even though I wish I could re-edit it so there weren't so many moments where Felix or Kurt or whoever raises his steely eyes to the camera. But it does tie in, in a really bowdlerized way, with Roeg's Bad Timing. So your project for today is: Create a montage from Bad Timing with "Captain of Her Heart" as the score.

Speaking of adults, I am reading Edgar Morin's Cinema, or The Imaginary Man. The translator, in her introduction, writes: "Morin wrote of the need to restructure the categories of adolescence and age so that we might try to combine the secrets of adolescence and the secrets of maturity, instead of each chasing away the other in the model of the 'techno-bourgeois' adult.

This brings me to the next video that I have watched one thousand times.

axwell found lecktra & twins
by out_one

Also, this is what I'm doing on Sunday

2008-02-10T22:20:00.000-08:00

Bad Timing

Double

2008-02-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

Walking on fire, flying through smoke

I'm not sure how many people do this, but because I am OBSESSED with myself, I often read over old posts and am frantically seized with the desire to delete everything because it all sounds and looks so ridiculous. But I don't somehow, because some people who I basically respect have told me that they like it. Soooo, here is the compromise -- I am going to be my own ombudsperson! Or rather, futureme is going to take a shit on pastme. Okay here it goes (follow along):

June 20, 2007 - This one's okay, I guess. You have to stop using people's names all of the time. What if they don't their name pasted all over the place?

November 6, 2007 - First of all, no picture. Couldn't you have at least found a funny mid-90s picture of somebody? Or maybe a hand-drawn diagram? No one aside from a select few who a) cared and b) were paying attention, care about your idiotic sartorial fixations.

January 18, 2008 - YAWN. Who do you think you are, H.L. Mencken? Some sort of "urban scribe" who broadcasts the fact that he frequents hip "divey" bars under the guise of au courant journalistic reportage? Nice try, buddy, but no.

January 20, 2008 - People always love room pictures, it's true. But you should've taken less blurry pictures and centered the unimaginative caption.

January 23, 2008 - Who says "underrated" anymore? How about: married people who collect Simpsons dolls and own mutliple dvd sets of entire seasons of televisions shows? The "cool" guy at your work that likes ska-punk? You should've just posted the video clip and left it at that.

January 27, 2008 - This is good, the picture is too blurry though.

January 31, 2008 - Wow, you know about a rejected Justice mix? What are some other cool things you can hypertextmessage me to? Different digital mixes by other groups?

That feels better. In the spirit of humiliation I offer this, for your dissection

2008-01-31T11:05:00.000-08:00

Major daft-italo-symphonic-euro-kitsch-that-seems-like-a-television/dream-that-you may-have-never-watched/had-but-that-maybe- you-did.

Youtube, stop plundering my brain!

Via the rejected Justice fabric mix.

2008-01-27T21:02:00.000-08:00

For women only.

2008-01-23T11:56:00.000-08:00

Has anyone seen this? If so, lets talk! First topic: Gema Zamprogna is the most underrated Canadian actor ever.

I made this using the software equivalent of a speak & spell and a box of matches, but you think the clumsiness is endearing and part of its charm.
"CHALLENGERS MIX"

2008-01-20T21:32:00.000-08:00

Where everything happens.

2008-01-18T11:14:00.000-08:00

Dispatches from the Chicago Smoking Ban

Some people I know were really upset that Chicago was going ahead with its smoking ban. As a semi-smoker, I felt pretty indifferent. When Toronto instituted its smoking ban, I liked being able to take a break, and to have a handy rip-chord when I needed it. Health issue, social issue, whatever, what I want to tell you is this: Chicago bars now smell like a big bag of diapers.

As long as these bars have been around, some for the greater part of a century, there has been smoking in them. Now without smoke, there is a faint smell of farts, human bodies, and poorly ventilated bathrooms.

2007-11-06T18:05:00.000-08:00

I've basically been wearing the same thing for about ten years now: pants and button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled up. But if you've been paying attention, you'll know that there have been subtle changes. Like, remember I only wore black Levi's 501s and when they got too faded I bought a new pair? Or when I gave up on jeans altogether because I felt child-like in them? (That was before they started making decent jeans for men) Well, my new thing is wearing larger button-up shirts. Fuck all these tight shirts!

2007-06-20T14:48:00.001-07:00

Zoe named almost everyone in this photo. Can you believe that?

2007-06-18T18:36:00.000-07:00

May as well go for a soda.

2007-06-16T15:05:00.000-07:00

Damen blue line stop

Graemedalf

Best girls

Best guy

Find the cat

He ain't heavy

2007-06-16T15:03:00.001-07:00

Fake Gursky

2007-06-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm back up in here. Photos and stuff.

2006-06-11T18:07:00.000-07:00

Bad news, rap dudes.

I have decided to temporarily suspend this blog. I just don't think my life is as meaningful as it was before. I don't know. I just don't really have paragraph upon paragraph to write anymore. So...

I've been posting tidbits--or "life bites," as I like to call them--of things on myspace lately. Also, an all-hamburger review blog called "Hamblogger" is in the works as we speak. I'll post the link here in a few days.

See ya.

Nathan

2006-05-15T18:41:00.000-07:00

So good.

This is a bonus.

2006-05-08T15:23:00.000-07:00

What's up? This is me in Niagara Falls.

Went to see M:I III yesters, it was okay. It had a lot of stuff that made the other ones popular (acrobatics, double-crossing, gadgets) but I don't think this JJ Abrams dude is much of an action director. Cruise needs to pick a better "curator" next time. I had fun though, and said "woah" a lot. The new Fast and Furious movie looks pretty rad though -- it features this Japanese style of car racing called "drifting" or something. Lil Bow Wow filled me in on that.

YouTube is great, huh? I have been peeping the HOTTTT new Kelis video "Bossy," the E-40 video for "I Told You Not to Go" also has some cool car tricks, and everyone is bloggified over the Average Homeboy video from the eighties. I'm not gonna post the links cause it just takes me so long, you know how to operate the internet. Let me know what you have been tubing lately too.

I can't wait to move in one month, I know I have been talking about it NONSTOP, but deal with it. I am moving to a LOFT okay? That's different than an apartment in that it is made for CREATIVE people who are ARTISTS. I think this space has some good energy and I'm looking to absorb some it so don't harsh my mellow, k? But f'rel, this place is huge and even has an operational, private movie theatre inside it, I shit you not. It will apparently get super hot in the summer, but I don't really care. I'm going to be living within a walking disance of the blue line, flash taco, american apparel, and the (barf) Fluevog store.

What else?

The week = library, frozen pizza + spinach, will and grace
The wknd = rainbo, beer, ping pong, pinball

This is Graeme and Me at Communist's Daughter. He's wearing the shirt I made him.

xo,
N

PS - My brother got a crapload of Sierra Games!! I can't wait to avoid doing other things to play them! Check out his blog.

2006-05-05T13:52:00.000-07:00

Friday, 3:57 PM:

Here is a bit of a conundrum that I've been having that makes me feel a bit like a hypocrite:

The situation wherein you ask a stranger to watch "your stuff" (laptop, books, table, etc.), or the reverse situation where someone asks you to watch theirs. My basic problem with being asked to do this how they know I'm not just going to walk out with their stuff while they're out smoking or going to the bathroom? I don't know why I get so pissed off about this, but whenever someone asks me so very politely to watch their stuff, I end up grunting a barely audible "yeah, uh huh" or sometimes I say something really smarmy like , "yeah, don't worry, [wink wink]" Except at this very moment I'm in the reverse situation, I really need to take a whizz, but I don't want fold up my computer cause its downloading something. So I'm looking around and the only thing overpowering my overpowering urge to empty my urethra is not wanting to be, in the words of Francey, "that person." So basically, I'm stuck here, in the library, watching my limewire downloading timer as it switches from 32:45 to 40:15 and hoping that someone I actually know will come by before my bladder ruptures. UGH!

In more particular news:

- Went to Canada blah blah
- Moving out of Hyde Park June 1st! So excited.
- Stoked for X-3 and MI-3 so bad.

2006-04-23T16:47:00.000-07:00

***************FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE **********************

From the Desk of Ms. Veronica McDonnell
Great White Talent Inc.
2177 Richmond St. W. Suite 317

Hello friends,

While purusing the first born of Mr. Stuart Berman and Ms.Tyler Clark Burke this week, please note Mr. Graeme Metcalf is prominently featured in full colour on the bottom right corner of the page immediatly preceeding the employment section. A coincidence? No. As mr.metcalf has recently been retained by Ryerson University, he has participated in this ad campaign free of charge and only because, and as he states, "because the kids man, the fucking kids need to read you know? it's not just all snorting coke and fucking american apparel models. literacy gets you house, models just get you the free coffee."

Yours,
Ronny

2006-04-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

I seriously do not know what the F I am doing right now. I'm doing something later, but not right now and somehow I'm having trouble "filling" the time. (And I hate the idea of time-filling, as if time is filled and wasted and all that.) I was pacing around my apartment, turning songs on and off, lying face down in bed, and hanging out the window until I decided that I should go outside because it was nice, and I just got new sunglasses so it might be fun to wear them. I walked to campus and now I'm doing dick shit.

Text messages to my mom:

- What is the best way to cook spinach? thx.
- Did u mail my contacts? thx

I think I'm going to hold off on this whole peeing in mouth thing. I wrote this whole paragraph but it began to seem as if it was just a mask to cover my own anxieties about wanting someone to pee in my mouth. You don't have to believe me, but that is TOTALLY NOT THE CASE. I just wanted to say something about how it was related to "sincerity."

Anyway, back to not knowing what do. UGH. I think I should just give up on it in the short-term and embrace the emptiness of this block of time. Not in a waiting room kind of way, in a meditative kind of way.

2006-04-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

Not dead, just busy.

Not dead, just busy.

Coming soon:

- Text messages I would send my Mom
- Promulgation, pontification, proliferation
- What is "hyphy?" Is it like "fun" or something?
- Me to Niagara region / toronto.
- Do I really want to discuss this peeing in people's mouth thing?

2006-04-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

- I'm thinking really really strongly about moving out of Hyde Park. Like, seriously. I think I will move out in july. It's really occupying my mind right now, and I think that "spritually" I have already moved out of this awful awful place. I'm going to move to Wicker Park, with Hartnett.

-On the way to school, I saw a license plate that read "BRN ANGL" so I smeared shit all over the windshield.

-The other thing that I've been thinking about for awhile is collecting books and young adult novels from my youth. I just ordered, on abebooks, this book called "It's Like This, Cat." Has anyone read it? It's about a boy and his cat in New York City. I remember it being very nice. I'm also looking to buy more early Gordon Korman* books. I also ordered "Fakes and Forgeries" part of the Usborn Good Detective Guides series. These books, written for kids, actually offer some really useful detective, spy, and forgery methods.

-I'll write something soon about people who pee on each other.

*The fact that Korman wrote "This Can't Be Happening At MacDonald Hall" when he was 13 years old used to obssess me. Not that I was a particularly gifted kid, but it just made everything seem so pointless. I am really happy that he's still floundering in the netherworld of young adult fiction.

2006-03-30T12:47:00.001-08:00

If I was Scaught, I'd probably have a picture of the stuff that's been coming out of my throat in my sink or something. I'm not Scaught though, and I don't have a digital camera, so no go. There is something really satisfying about seeing some really solid expectorate in your sink though (or in your palm if yr in the shower--am I right?)

Anyway, I want to ask you something: Do I say things like "precisely" or "plausible" in everyday conversation? I hear UofC students saying this stuff all the time and I'm like, "good grief," but then I remember that maybe just last week I said something like "yeah, it's plausible that one day I will eat mushrooms." Some of the stuff you hear people saying, you just want to drop them. I don't want people to feel that way about me.

I've been watching a lot of CSI on DVD these past few weeks and have started to wonder what my body and its clothing might reveal if ever I was to drop dead somewhere. Like what is underneath my fingernails or stuck in the crevasses of my jeans? What sort of story are my pants going to tell? Wait, let me do a quick body check . . .

Okay, here's the evidence:

- bites fingernails
- scab on left pointer finger from clumsy scrape on door frame (they'd probably be able to tell it was a doorframe somehow)
- gravel from somewhere stuck in sole of sneakers.
- wierd pills on hoodie from wearing it inside out all the time.
- legs are bright white, obviously hasn't worn shorts in 4+ years.

2006-03-30T12:47:00.000-08:00

2006-03-29T09:54:00.000-08:00

I am fucking sick sick sick. Not only that, I'm angry at my sickness for making me feel this way. Fucking fuck. My day consists of wandering around in an acetaminophen haze, going to classes, wandering home again, and watching Friends, Will and Grace and Gilmore Girls on one of the three channels my TV gets (or CSI on my laptop). WTF? Someday I will be an old man and this will be EVERY DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE. Fuck, I can't even imagine the breakdown of my body. My mind's not exactly in top shape either. I had all this funny stuff to tell you about Dakota Fanning's braces, and UofC students and whatnot...

Okay, off to gargle hot salt water.

N

2006-03-23T13:01:00.000-08:00

Oh shit, where have I been? I guess basically I am on vacation right now (one week break between winter and spring quarters), but technically I have not gone anywhere. Miami threats were made but brokedness intervened -- I'm back where I was in early December, surviving on scraps and the generosity of others.

Let's see, what have I done so far this week?

I went to the doctor--or "nurse practioner" or whatever--for the first time in forever. Tell me this, how many of you would put "12-15 drinks/week" on a questionnaire? I did, and she asked if I felt I had a problem. I scored points later on though, when after listening to my heart she said "You work out." "Nope," I said, "I just take the stairs all the time." "Your heart is like a metronome," she said. Not to toot my own horn...

Other than that, I've just been hanging out at the coffee shop and the library. I'm gonna get back into pinball I think. Tonight I'm going to goth night at Neo. Good times. I get paid next week and I really want some new sneakers....

2006-03-15T11:19:00.000-08:00

Updated list of all the words I've added to my t9w predictive text catalogue:

Albini
Asshole
Bisous
Bitch
Classist
Cocks
Bummer
Elises
Fuck
fave
estelles
Fucked
Fucking
DVD
Hp
istria
Hc
halsted1
Gd
Gnarly
impressionism
ikea
Grr
Gillian
Kirby
Laguna
lambor jambos
Kanye
Omg
Mc
New
Nein
Nh
Noah
Nicoise
Oprah
Ouch
Shitty
ritz
Shit
Puckett
Rae
Sluts
rodan
Roeper
Slob
steens
sux
tite
talan
toronto
totes
yay
Yikes
Xiu

2006-03-14T14:53:00.000-08:00

Last May, on the train between Cambronne and Glaciere, a man of about thirty, sitting opposite a very pretty girl, skillfully separated a magazine he was pretending to read, in such a way that the girl was presented with the sight of his penis, erect, complete and magnificient. Some fool's discovery of this exhibitionist act, an act which had plunged the gril into a tremendous and delicious confusion, but without the slightest protest, was enough to cause the exhibitionist to be apprehended and expelled by the other passengers. We can only express our vehement indignation and our contempt for such abominable behaviour against one of the purest and most disinterested acts a man is capable of performing in our age of corruption and moral degradation.

Salvador Dali (Le Surrealisme au Service de la Revolution, No. 2)

2006-03-12T17:20:00.000-08:00

I imagine that some of you may read Eye Magazine's "Totally Wired" section and/or Stereogum, but whatever. A hilarious "sendup" of record store employees. Pretty hamfisted, but also kind of funny. Don't worry, I won't use this opportunity to make a disparaging John Crossingham reference.

Had a swanky Saturday. Went with Elise and her mom to a fancy seafood "resto" (who says that?) Not to be immodest, but I had these ladies in tears with my side splitting humour all night. I then somehow ended up at the W hotel in the 33rd floor lounge, drinking comp. beer. Chicago!

2006-03-11T16:14:00.000-08:00

So I might have told some Toronto people that I keep on seeing Steve Albini all over the place. Big Mistake. That guy is NOT Albini! I was at the Rainbo Club last night and I mentioned to Ashley that I thought the guy over there was Albini. So she marches right up to him and starts chatting him up. I go over a few minutes later, turns out the guy is named Mark. I was "Huh. So you didn't record that Thrush Hermit album then?" Then I went to a goth bar and danced my face off to industrial techno music. Highlight: Hung Up/Madonna. That's a banger.

2006-03-09T17:14:00.000-08:00

So what is up? I don't know. Whatever. Vancouver. I get really upset when I think I might never live in Vancouver again. I would really like to. I talked with Erika about being an academic for the rest of my g-d life and not really having a choice where to live. We decided Toronto, Montreal, or Vancouver would be the tops -- I can't really imagine living anywhere else. Is that completely boring? I may have told you already, but I never had any ambition to move further than Toronto when I was in High School. I thought, "yeah, maybe someday I'll get a job, move to Toronto." Of course I always had/have really vague, abstract notions of the future. This was also the time (high school) when I thought that if I didn't get into university I'd end up a homeless person (no joke).

Sorry this is way too boring. I could just post Graeme's emails to me, but I don't think he'd like that (or only like it perversely, not officially) Anyways, check back in soon, I promise insane drama.

In the meantime here are some questions:

1. How retarded is polyamory? Check out their logo, a heart with an infinity sign. Barf. I think I hate all sexual idenities though (Sorry, gay people, but it's true)
2. How good is Screeching Weasel's "Anthem for a New Tomorrow"? Olvia, back me up.
3. Why is Salvador Dali only loved by stupid people when obviously he's the craziest/most incredible artist of the 20th century?
4. Who will give me a haircut?
5. Why is Chicago not romantic?

N

2006-03-07T19:02:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Vancouver and my sleep is totally whacked. I slept 7 hours last night, but for some reason also had to sleep 3 hours this afternoon after class. What's up with that? I had a really great time in Vancouver of course, but I'm not sure what I could really say about it that anyone would really be interested in. I'll get back to you, I'm still pretty tired. More than that I'm really boring right now. What's my problem?

2006-03-02T09:59:00.000-08:00

I finally got reviewed in Pitchfork! Check out the fourth line, that's me, I was there!

2006-02-27T11:18:00.000-08:00

Textchange

Nathan: Did you read the ny times magazine this wk?
Graeme: Shitstorm!!
N: Why no snakes rep I want to know.
G: Got the h+m Lazy Susan neck Goin Here!

2006-02-24T12:01:00.000-08:00

The Onion this week did an article (not a jokey one, a real one) where they got a few famous-type people (guy from Modest Mouse, David Cross, that douche from the Postal Cervix/Dead Scab for Cutie) set their ipods on shuffle and comment on the first five songs that show up. This has the potential to be extremely embarassing for me, or conversely, seeming to be a virtuoso performance of my unassailable taste (which you will hate me for). So nobody wins here, but whatever, here we go. I promise complete honesty.

1. Hefner - "Love Will Destroy Us in the End"

Um, honestly I can't remember this song except for the chorus which is also the title. I really got into Hefner when I was living with Matt Voynovich. Matt had this way of liking indie rock in a totally un-fey way, which made it cool. The singer for Hefner is really funny and brutally honest and vulnerable. My fave song of theirs is "Hymn for Cigarettes" which my brother re-turned me onto not this christmas but the christmas before. But, like I said, I hardly ever listen to this one.

2. Soulwax - "NY Excuse" (Dirty South remix)

I love this song! Whenever I listen to it I imagine myself as the DJ who put it on at the beginning of my set. People are just milling around, not dancing, but this song gets them going and launches them into a frenzy that doesn't end till the lights come on. I have all the Soulwax "excuse" remixes and this is my favorite. I wonder if it gets a lot of play in clubs I never go to?

3. Misfits - "She"

I recently put a bunch of my fave Misfits tracks on my ipod, but this one I can't remember--even though I know its basically a classic. I would much rather listen to "Where Eagles Dare," "We are 138" or "Bullet." I saw the bastard version of the Misfits play in the late 90s in the parking lot of the Mindbomb in St. Catharines. There were a lot of racist skinheads there threatening to beat each other up. I stood by the side of the stage for safety with Geoff Brown.

4. Jonathan Richman - "Ice Cream Man"

Wasn't this on the soundtrack to some Adam Sandler film? Anyway, again, I'm never in the mood to listen to this song for some reason. I totes love JR obv, but this song is kind of annoying. Modern Lovers tracks are much better for ipod play. I bought the first Modern Lovers album at a Borders (or some big music/movie/book store) in Niagara Falls, New York in my late teens and I felt an instant connection with everything Richman sang, even "I'm Straight." (1st straight-edge song ever?)

5. Spacemen 3 - "Come Down Softly to My Soul"

Truthfully, I recently got this song on record (Playing with Fire) and it makes for house-listening much better than ear-phone listening. I find that with most Spacemen 3 tracks actually. I have had the first two S3 albums (Perfect Prescription and Sound of Confusion?) on cassette tape for awhile. I taped them off Fraser Dempster who subsequently claimed I never returned the cds I dubbed them from. I have often contemplated getting a tatoo of the band's logo because it looks really cool, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that level of fandom yet.

So there it is. Phew, not really that embarassing after all and a pretty good cross section. One thing I've learned though: I tend to skip through a lot of stuff all of the time and should probably remove it.

2006-02-15T12:20:00.000-08:00

Dear University of Chicago students,

Enough with these bags. No one gives a flying fuck that you went to Strand Books in New York.

Nathan

2006-02-12T23:39:00.000-08:00

Post Script:

- It looks like the Queen St Man link is dead for some reason. Where'd it go? Graeme tells me to tell everyone that he knows about it, that it's "blogtastic," and would you please stop telling him about it aleady.
-Garden State on mute. The best thing for it really. It would truly be a complete diarrhea-fest if it wasn't for Peter SARSgaard.
-I love housesitting for Elise, but if you leave off eating until 11pm at night and you don't feel waiting five minutes for the shift change at the Citgo station in the cold so you can order a can of Chef Boyardee from the window, then there really isn't anywhere to get something to eat in this neighbourhood. Where's that tamale guy when you need him? (Update: Had tamales on Friday. They are great.)

2006-02-12T20:58:00.000-08:00

Just went to see Breathless. Its the reason I am in cinema studies. It'd be cool to be able to call the cops everytime you wanted to get out of a bad relationship. Not to have them eventually get shot in the back of course, just to be able to end things with a phone call and a sense of helplessness. Like, "Shit, the cops are coming for you. You better get out of here."

2006-02-07T15:52:00.000-08:00

Geez, sorry things are so infrequent around here.

Got this link to Queen Street Man today from Erika who said, "It's totally about you, Nathan." Not true though, I would never go to Coup Bizarre -- everyone knows who cuts my hair.

Plans for tonight include an international beer tasting. My classmates and I are bringing beer from their home countries (Germany, Mexico, USA). I think my only choice will be Moosehead, we'll see. Also, we may watch The Other Sister.

Later.

Call me.

N

2006-01-31T15:10:00.000-08:00

The worst thing about having a blog is the tendency to read everything over with the voice of Carrie from the Sex in the City in your head. It makes you want to erase everything.

2006-01-31T14:35:00.000-08:00

I don't feel bad that I didn't go to see William Kentridge--who I'm told is a pretty great animator--talk and show his films today. I'd never heard of him before and I really wanted to eat lunch/take a nap. Also, and you may know this, I have a knee-jerk reaction to people saying "you HAVE to see/watch/listen to/read this ____" unless I really feel that the person telling me is on the same page as me. IN ADDITION, when the grad students in my class are saying it, I become particularly suspicious because, fuck they can talk shit sometimes (not always).

The other reason that I didn't want to go was that I felt pretty overwhelmed by all the stuff (other people call it "art") that I took in the day before:

1. Two films by Jean Vigo (who only made four films total*), Zero de Conduite and L'Atalante. The first about an anarchical boarding school where the kids stage a mini-revolt, the second a love story set on a French barge.

2. Episodes 9 and 10 of The Wire, 1st Season. At times in this show, things are a bit overwrought, but overall the whole thing-- the details, bureacracy, and strategy of police procedure--is just genius. And it never has to be melodramatic, the drama just comes so naturally. Episode 9 contains a chase sequence that had me cheering by the end.

3. Couldn't sleep so I read a bit of the new Best American Nonrequired Reading Anthology. Ryan Boudinot's "Free Burgers For Life" made me a) wish that I read more really cool literary journals that would contain such a story in the first place b) think that maybe just maybe I could have given creative writing a more serious go c) read the last paragraph so fast -- not just because I wanted to read the end, but because the tempo of the sentences seemed to accelerate somehow like everything was going to crash I just had to speed up like I had no control over it. Nothing crashed, but it left me feeling intensely crashed. Wow. I also read Beck's introduction to the anthology after 30 more minutes of sleeplessness. It's okay too.

So these are not recommendations (although you may take them as such if you trust me enough) but reasons why I did not go see William Kentridge's talk and films this afternoon -- I was still overwhelmed from the day before. How much ART can someone take?

*I actually love it when someone only puts out a tiny bit--or even manageable of amazing work. Then I can see/watch/listen to it/read it all and confidently say that I saw/watched/listened to/read it all. Cheers to: Jesus and Mary Chain, TIntin, Terence Malick. Fuck you, John Ford and Jacques Derrida.

2006-01-30T10:32:00.000-08:00

1. I was in a secret/"underground" movie theatre last night to watch The Bicycle Thief. It wasn't just a cheesy video projector and some couches either. It was a straight up 35mm projector, graduated seating, and sound system deal that these guys I know have in their house! Too crazy. If you come here, we'll go.
2. Graffiti in bathroom at Filter reads: "Oh, Canada, how could you?" I'm with Scott on this though - read his election day post on Hail Nothing.
3. Late night discussion on #6 Jackson Park Express last night on black history lead to the following utterance: "Abraham Lincoln did not care about black people!"
4. My parents are coming next weekend.
5. Right now I'm into: Kung-fu movies, The Wire, Aggro-dance music, sociology of the avant-garde.

Miss everyone lots.

N

2006-01-25T19:46:00.000-08:00

Just so you know, I wrote the last blog entry--the one I erased--BLIND DRUNK. There were messages of support for it to stay up, but I talked to Tobin on election day and he said everyone was laughing at it, so I'm glad I took it down. If you didn't read it, it was a mostly incoherent cry for help mixed in with some attempting-to-be Whitmanesque prosiness about walking in the same steps, same pavement as everyone else and loving everyone. That's it.

Anyway, right now I'm in a corner of the library behind stacks of microfilm fiddling around on my computer, mostly looking like a complete pervert probably.

I was talking to someone recently who said that someone, maybe T.S. Eliot, said that writing in lists is the _____ way to write (best? most poetic?) I agree, mostly because lists are easy to read and sort through and I don't really have time to read someone's idea of what good writing is. So:

- Thanks to the Chicagoans who helped me out of the CTA turnstile that I got stuck in last week.
- There was an article in the right wing student newspaper this week about how UofC students insist on wearing sandals.
- Went to see Drunken Master with Jackie Chan last week and am going to see The 36th Chamber of Shaolin tomorrow
- Got new slim jeans at the Levis store.
- Starting looking up singles charts from 1988-1994. Just because.

2006-01-18T09:08:00.000-08:00

I haven't been able to post for awhile due to not having an internet connection in my house. That, and not a lot is really new and exciting. Except that ...

The other night, I was heading to the Northside on the #6 bus towards the loop, and the Chicago skyline came into view, and for the first time I felt something like, "This is my city. This is where I live." That felt pretty good. I'm definitely feeling more on top of things lately. I've developed some very nice friendships outside of school and that's helped too.

The trade off of my life getting better might be that my blog gets boring. I'm going to try not to let that happen.

Don't worry, friend, I'm gonna keep on walking the knife edge. Believe.

N

2006-01-13T14:39:00.000-08:00

Cell phone conversation heard outside the library just now:

"I have four generations of Harvard and ... of Princeton, my family will kill me if I don't get into one of those ..."

On the one hand, I feel for you. On the other hand, WHO are you?

In music news:

- Holy cow, Cingular Wireless has a new commercial out with Cat Power covering "Hanging on the Telephone" by The Nerves/
Blondie. It's so good and, as far as I can tell, totally unavailable anywhere. I got a 43 second clip of it off of Limewire. Watch
the commercial at: http://www.sambisbee.com/cingular/

- I'm getting my records to my new place this weekend I think. So excited.

- Got the illegitimate DFA produced Britney song. It's kind of bad, but interesting I guess.

- I also like "Hung Up" by Madonna, but it makes me feel super gay to listen to.

N

2006-01-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

Moved in the rest of my stuff today and now have a "home" so to speak. Now everyone can come visit me. HOWEVER, I will tell you now that I am a graduate student in a doctoral program. This means that occasionally--well, most of the time--I am busy with school work and school-related activities. You can visit, just be aware that your whole stay does not revolve around you all the time, okay? We're cool then, right? Right.

One of the fun things, pretty much the only fun thing in fact, that I did while I was in Niagara-on-the-Lake, was hang out with Olivia and Paul and sneak into Fort George and Fort Mississauga. It was something I'd always wanted to do growing up, and something I never did. Here are some pics.

2006-01-06T13:41:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it back.

Toronto was rad. I have really great New Year's pics, but it'll be centuries before I'm able to post them. I love you all, and I love Toronto.

Chicago.

Someone I met today told me that it is widely held that Hyde Park, as a neighbourhood, makes people suicidal. He also confirmed that UofC students are overly serious, unsociable, and perhaps spoiled. I was glad to hear this because I was worried that, in the words of Mike Hards, I was becoming a Dr. Don't-Like. I don't want to flog a dead horse here, but this proves I am not demented but, in fact, very perceptive. HYDE PARK SUX.

However.

Living in my new apartment, despite the fact that it contains none of my furniture yet, is great. I think I am going to enjoy living alone a lot. Don't take this as a pronouncment about the rest of my life (i.e. I don't want to become a hermit), but not worrying about roommates and what they think or what they don't do enough, or what they do too much, will be great. Parts of the apartment are kind of scuzzy, but for the most part I am happy. Again, pics to follow.

I am planning a housewarming party soon in order to show people here that I am a fun and unique individual. Also, it will be fun to have a party.

There's a war going on you know.

2005-12-25T10:26:00.000-08:00

Christmas update:

After I mentioned that I wouldn't mind being "willed" my mother's collection of antique creamers, she told me to "fuck off." The day before I also attempted to lay claim to my grandmother's set of Hummels. I told my family that it was important to discuss these things, as any ambiguities now could lead to divisiveness in the future, then I went upstairs and penciled my name onto some choice pieces of furniture.

2005-12-22T19:35:00.000-08:00

This blog will return soon, promise.

Right now, Mike and I are sitting around at 13 Tyndall, reading magazines and google image searching different kinds of food to see what it looks like (I wasn't sure what beef burgundy or chicken kiev looked like.) Also, I made the mistake of getting stoned and now I feel the full weight of the (my) world on me and its crushing me and I should never ever smoke pot again I promise.

N

2005-12-07T00:40:00.000-08:00

I write this missive from the carcass of what was once my room, now just a desk, some lights, and a bed. Maybe I should try to live like this. It would be slightly Kafkaesque, I imagine (or maybe like the main character, Michel, from Bresson's "Pickpocket"). Maybe I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Anyway, I don't have much to write besides that I'm readying myself for an exam Thursday morning and to fly out Thursday afternoon. It's kind of like juggling, but with only two balls. They're oddly shaped balls though, awkward. I have to do very good on this exam, one, and, two, I feel almost like I am already home, or at least like I'm the waiting room before getting home. It's probably because of the in-betweenness of my surroundings.

Update on living on $20 a day: It doesn't even phase me anymore. I'm eating oatmeal every morning, a big lunch and then beer at night. Perfect, right?

It's tacky, but I like the holidays just like I love the Toronto Film Festival. It's big and ugly and overall pretty stupid, but I don't know ... It's as much the lights all over the place as it is a different experience of time, I guess. Maybe this only resonates with people in school, I don't know.

Also, I'm reading F. Scotty Fitzgerald's "This Side of Paradise" and it's quite lovely thank-you very much. I will be admitting far too much about who I really am to say that I strongly identify in many ways with Amory Blaine. If I ever get a cat or have a child I will call it Amory.

St. Catharines: See you Friday?
Toronto: See you Saturday!

N

2005-12-04T00:41:00.000-08:00

Today:

Personal crime spree escalated to unprecedented levels as I boosted a burrito and coke from the caf. Graeme says they'll deport me. I'm like, "Please."

Went to Jimmy's and sat at the bar. You have to destroy yourself once in awhile, if not nightly. Throw yourself into the storm and just die. If only to glimpse the feeling of resurrection when you wake up.

I love you all.

N

2005-12-03T00:32:00.000-08:00

I did a google image search on "hip hop christmas" and this turned up on the second page.

At 11:40 tonight I was in the library and got a drunken call from Inga, my German classmate. From what I could decipher of the message, she was going to crash some party. A University of Chicago party! Apparently they were doing keg stands and everything! I got super excited as I had never been to a proper American University party. It wasn't the sorority-life-Animal House debauchery I expected though. Mostly young white dude and a smattering of their mall-chick girlfriends. I was invited to do a keg stand by a suit clad member of Sigma Delta Something (who asked me if I knew greek and then attempted to explain the eytmology of his frat's name!), but was honestly too embarassed to admit that I didn't actually even know what a keg stand was. What, you stand on your head and drink out of the keg or something? The music they were playing was awful. I love Bruce Springsteen, but playing him at 1:00 AM turns the party so aryan-stooge all of the sudden, no? I plugged my ipod in for awhile and we danced to Ciara and some Skee-lo mash-up (which some laguna beach cast-offs seemed to really love). Inga was super drunk and was being super funny by alternately grinding with dudes, falling down, and spilling beer all over the place. She garnered some glares from the cock heavy crowd that was alternately disapproving and weighing its options.

I'm like ...

2005-12-01T23:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I saved a lot. I spent only 20 cents! Can you believe it? (It was 10 cent coffee day at the student coffee shop.)

Today's Reciept:

Coffee - 1.85
Lunch at Salonica (Chicken Rice soup and Turkey salad sandwich) - 7.00
Copying - 7.00
Coffee - 1.35
Supper (stir-fry - I got a juice and and egg roll at a five finger discount though) - 4.49
Tea - .50
3 pints Miller Genuine Draft at Jimmy's - 8.25

Total - $30.44

Conclusion: I went over budget sure, but I was rolling over from the day before.

I recorded a thought memo too:

Dec 1, 2pm: "I just walked past a squirrel in a garbage can and it can't get out. I'm going to go back to see if it can get out [I was kind of scared to peek over the edge of the can. I had visions of a squirrel attaching itself to my head and biting my face off.] Oh good, it got out. I was worried that... " [The recording cuts off here. I was going to say that I was worried that I might have to try to call the humane society and try to explain this absurd situation.]

Sorry, this blog is taking a turn for the worst. Reflection and insight are on vacation.

N

2005-11-30T21:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went over my budget by $6.46. This was due to a session at Jimmy's Woodlawn Tap. Today though, it was 10 cent coffee day at the student-run coffee shop so I spent a measly 20 cents!

Is this getting boring yet?

2005-11-28T20:57:00.000-08:00

Elise captured this douche taking advantage of the warm weather to give his flip flops one more trip around the block. Worse, UofC students were doing the same thing! What's up Chicago? Francey, please confirm that New Yorkers do not have the same, near pathological obsession with sandals. It's no wonder they call this the "second city."

My plan to record random thoughts didn't work out so well (i.e. I forgot that plan). Here's what I have for today:

2:07 AM - Forbidden word list 2006: "uber-" as a prefix
7:30 PM - Trying to figure out what to do. 7:30 pm Nov 28. Go get cigarettes. Drink tea. Read Kracauer.

I did get cigarettes. I was within my budget to get them and it was good that I did, because I managed to snag the elusive 2 for 1 camel lights. My new budget is $20/day. I don't think it should be that difficult, should it? Here's my spending journal for today:

Coffee at Third World Cafe - 1.60
Laundry - 4.00
Coffee at school - 0.75
Grapefruit Soda - 0.85
Copying - 6.00 (ouch)
Cigarettes - 6.46

Total - 19.66

Not bad, but this doesn't count the money spent on the groceries I consumed today though (roughly 6 dollars worth) We'll see how this works out.

Here's a picture of me giving thanks on Friday.

2005-11-21T21:55:00.000-08:00

Here's me just doing some Sunday reading at that place called filter. And then ...

STYLE BITER! Got you on my radar, man. That's okay, Chicago, I'm just going to have to step up my game a little bit. (You have to enlarge the picture of me to catch the subleties of the style-biting.)

Last week was perhaps the worst work week yet. Turns out that my digital camera and palm pilot (aka alarm clock) also got stolen. Who knows, maybe my identity was also stolen? They can have it as far as I'm concerned. So I've been basically walking around cursing under my breath and generally feeling like shit. At the deepest darkest moments I was thinking about: A) How nothing good has happened to me since I got here, and B)Planning out alternative futures that don't involve living in communities of freshmen, really really smart people, and houserobbers.

That being said things have started to brighten a little bit. I found a studio apartment to move into in January. It's spacious and hardwooded and has some nice architectural flourishes. Plus, it's on the third floor, so there's little chance of milk crates being stacked up to allow easy entry through my windows.

This Friday featured some highlights that involve being insulted by some boring graduate students who were making specious historical claims about the history of cinema (too boring to go into).This was promptly followed by a hoodwink that parted Matt and I from five dollars each. George and his "sister" Velma told us a few whoppers. These stories involved:
1) A fictious "cancer walk" on Sunday (that's where the $5 went).
2)George working at the Pizza Hut at the cafeteria on campus (there is no Pizza Hut on campus)
3)A promise to roll us a "nice joint" (revealed, hours later, to be tabacco)
*After this George went for broke, stretching the time space continuum as it relates to white people believing whatever black people tell them.
4)A claim that Velma once weighed 235lbs. This woman, was five feet nothing and probably 135lbs tops.
5)A promise that George would meet me at the bar on Tuesday to play chess and talk about cunnilingus. He even offered, unsolicited, a phone number written on a Zig Zag package. I called it but it was disconnected.

While I woke up the next morning with the feeling that I'd been had, I did grow to appreciate the care he took to construct his elaborate lies. I mean, after we gave him our money he didn't have to hang out with us and try to pick up chicks for me. So no harm done really (although I shouldn't have bought them 2 rounds of drinks).

On Saturday I went to see Jesus is Magic (so-so) and then Elise and I went to meet some friends at an art opening. Turns out it was a huge party in a huge run-down house/art-space. It was packed and there were tons of people there. It was basically the best part of Chicago I've seen so far. I forgot my hangover immediately and dipped into the Pabst. Then it got shut down by the cops. Oh well. Here's a blurry pic of just one of the many rooms in the house.

See y'all soon.

N

2005-11-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

For fuck's sake I just got fucking robbed.

I went to see Ang Lee's new gay cowboy movie "Brokeback Mountain" and when I got home the overhead light was on and the window was wide open. I looked around, but everything of value seemed to be in place. The printer and stereo were pretty much the only valuable things there, aside from extra (emergency) cash I keep hidden here and there. Turns out, they only stole my winter jacket. OH MY FUCK. I just feel so fucking defeated right now. I'm very much resigned to the fact that my life and belongings are vulnerable to violation and destruction at any time. I accept this in theory . . .

So it's been about an hour post-theft (or post-realization to theft) and here's what I have to say:

a) I will miss my coat. It was an amazing color and fit and it had a great collar that made me look tough. Plus it went nicely with my scarf.

b) Someone broke into my room and took the time to find the lightswitch and turn it on. They left everything with any resale value whatsover and took the most useful thing to them, a coat that I paid $15 for at the Niagara Falls Value Village. Here I am, whiteboy from Canada hoarding not two, but three winter coats. In a just economy, I deserve this. However, if I see a dude wearing my coat I am going to offer him my older, but much warmer other coat and ten dollars. I tell you what.

N

2005-11-13T23:16:00.000-08:00

This is what you call a Graeme Metcalf special. The bagel broiler melt.

This weekend was pretty good. This'll be a big post, so you better grab a chair and a coffee or something.

I took a much needed break from Hyde Park and headed up to Elise's house to "housesit" for her while she was away. I got there around 9:30 pm on Friday night and proceeded to drink all of the beer in the fridge. My records are at Elise's as well (no room for them where I live) so it was just like old times. Elise kindly left me her bike lock key, so I decided to take a cruise down to the Rainbow Room at around midnight or so by myself. I was standing around stupidly for awhile. I don't really mind going to places by myself, I like "taking in the scene" as it where. I just don't like the idea that I might look like a dink or a weirdo just standing around not knowing anybody. Thankfully, Ashley et al. (new chicago friends) showed up to rescue me from my solitary reverie and all was good. I even felt sort of like an established chicagoan: go to a bar, run into friends, whatever.

Elise lives in Humboldt Park, a big Puerto Rican neighbourhood. Thankfully, there's also white people restaurants there too. I went to one called Flying Saucer (or maybe just "Saucer," The Flying Saucer restaurant is in Niagara Falls) and sat at the counter (loving the counter these days) After lazing around for awhile, I rode down to the Wicker Park area to go to the record store (scored: 2nd Rubinoos record, JSBX's Orange [lost the cd so long ago now], and the Toronto LP with "Your Daddy Don't Know on it) and then for coffee. The place I went for coffee, Filter, is sort of a running joke in Chicago circles. It's at the hub of Wicker Park (Damen, Division, Milwaukee intersection) and people hang out there and work and read and talk. Everyone--EVERYONE--is scoping everyone else out all the time though. Everyone's a craigslist missed connection entry waiting to happen. And basically, people come in from other neighbourhoods to do work there. The big lie is that you're just kind of hanging out at the coffee shop like it ain't no thang, but in reality you've travelled 40 minutes by transit to get to the good ol' "neighbourhood" cafe. So needless to say I felt kind of like a cliche by going there to do "schoolwork," but I don't give a shit.

After that, I went back to Elise's and got a pizza and watched the Laguna Beach marathon. So I'm basically totally caught up now I think. Thank god Trey could come back, revive Active Young America (a NON FOR PROFIT ORGANIZATION), and pull together a fashion show for all the Landslide "victims" huh? What, no one has insurance? If you want to know why so-called "natural disasters" happen in places like Orange County, you should check out some Mike Davis book that I forget the name of right now (all these disasters are totally man-made). Anyway, my favorite character in the show is Talan. I like his posture and he seems genuine. Also, for anyone doing a reality TV history/geneaology: What was the first reality tv show to use shot/reverse shot?

Saturday I was amped to see the Deadly Snakes show. It was super fun and they drew a big crowd. Andre and I caught each other up on some Toronto gossip, which was nice. He admitted missing Toronto, and I was like, "I feel for you man, but I'm here for 5 years." I don't even want to talk about this dead body/torso thing in Parkdale. Umm, so I drank a lot of Old Style and smoked a lot of Camel Lights and then we went to some guy from The Ponys house for some more booze and stuff. It was good times -- SOO much better than hanging out with grad students... or at least a nice change, grad students aren't that bad. So yeah, that was fun. I even talked to Max and he didn't try to stab me. We went for breakfast at Bite (beside the empty bottle).Chad was still drunk and admitted that he is gay. They headed off to Minneapolis and for a minute I wished I was in a touring rock band.

I should have left Elise's house to head back to Hyde Park earlier than I did, but I got sucked in by Bring It On, on the USA network (which, notably, will bleep out "shit," but not "fag" at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon).

So there you have it.

Also, I booked my flight tonight. I fly into Buffalo on December 8 at 8:30pm.

N

2005-11-10T22:55:00.000-08:00

Stay tuned. Don't leave me. I'm coming back. Just don't feel very loquacious right now. Here are some favorite things:

-Getting 2 for 1 camel lights ALL THE TIME (It's a string of good luck, I think. Store owners get only one 2 for 1 pack per carton.)
-Daft Punk remixes
-Rajun Cajun, an indian + soul food restaurant on 53rd St. They've got fried chicken and biscuits right next to the butter
chicken and sag paneer.
-Hyde Park records
-Deadly Snakes playing here on Saturday
-Salonica (diner) on Sunday with Times (I go earlier and earlier)
-Text messaging
-Laguna Beach

Shit List:
-Third World Cafe, the worst but only non-starbucks, non-campus coffee place. There's a good place called Istria, but it's too
far. Third World always plays the worst music (like fucking Macy Gray or some bad folky "world" shit), has the worst lighting,
and what's with the name?
-Bike got stolen on Halloween.
-The Weatherman. So fucking shitty.
-Laguna Beach

Words added to my text messaging T9 memory recently:

Gnarly
Laguna
Cabo
Alba
fuck
xiu

This is turning into the blog of 17 year old girl.

N

2005-11-07T15:00:00.000-08:00

I can't stay, I have a dozen fish to fry, I'm firing on all cylinders, and stirring many pots -- all this just to get my ducks in a row.

I want to tell you though about my brother's new blog. It's good. Check out the link on the right hand side of the page here. I'm hoping he keeps it up. The Holmes' are truly setting up a nice little corner of real estate for themselves in the "blogosphere." Watch out, bitches.

Here's another announcement from the wonderful people at International Affairs:

The 2005 International Thanksgiving Homestay Program
Wednesday, November 23 - Sunday, November 27, 2005
In cooperation with The International House of Chicago

International Thanksgiving Homestay Program is a four-day Thanksgiving holiday trip that arranges for international students to join an American family as they celebrate the U.S.’s oldest traditional holiday. This is a unique opportunity to experience American family life first-hand over the course of the holiday weekend. International students will be guests of an American host family in one of the six participating Illinois communities: Geneseo, Morrison, Paris, Prophetstown, Rockford, and Sterling-Rock Fall.

2005-11-05T00:43:00.000-08:00

If you're in a bad mood, I suggest Motorhead. Even if you're in a good mood actually. They're like the Misfits, you don't have to be totally metal or punk or anything to get into them. They have a diverse appeal.

Today, a little thing called "student loans" reared its ugly head again. CIBC epitomizes the corruptions of capitalism, I swear. They make so much money off the backs of people who basically have little to dispense with. I'm not trying to claim that I'm in same ranks of oppression as maquiadoras or whatever, but FUCK!

Xiu Xiu was retarded. I guess some people liked it, but... I had to leave because the people I was with kept on laughing through the really quiet emotional parts.

I don't really have anything to say, I guess. This post isn't the "meatiest."

I just found out that Death From Above 1979 cover La Peste's "Better off Dead" on their new remix album. Such a good song. Jesse (different guy) and I used to have a radio show in St. Catharines and we played it quite a bit. For some reason it's a song that seems like it would have given me nightmares as a kid, or rather I feel like it's the song that DID give me nightmares, like I'd heard it or before (though I never would have heard it). It reminds me of the kind of punk that was something on the news, something dangeous, to do with "bad guys" (all kinds of early 80s tv shows like "Quincy" and "Chips" used punk rockers as bad guys). Not New York or London punk, just total American danger punk. The first time "punk" ever crossed my lips was when I was riding in the car with my mom. I pointed to an alley and said, "Mom, that's where punks hang out."