Christmas update:

After I mentioned that I wouldn't mind being "willed" my mother's collection of antique creamers, she told me to "fuck off." The day before I also attempted to lay claim to my grandmother's set of Hummels. I told my family that it was important to discuss these things, as any ambiguities now could lead to divisiveness in the future, then I went upstairs and penciled my name onto some choice pieces of furniture.

This blog will return soon, promise.

Right now, Mike and I are sitting around at 13 Tyndall, reading magazines and google image searching different kinds of food to see what it looks like (I wasn't sure what beef burgundy or chicken kiev looked like.) Also, I made the mistake of getting stoned and now I feel the full weight of the (my) world on me and its crushing me and I should never ever smoke pot again I promise.

N

I write this missive from the carcass of what was once my room, now just a desk, some lights, and a bed. Maybe I should try to live like this. It would be slightly Kafkaesque, I imagine (or maybe like the main character, Michel, from Bresson's "Pickpocket"). Maybe I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Anyway, I don't have much to write besides that I'm readying myself for an exam Thursday morning and to fly out Thursday afternoon. It's kind of like juggling, but with only two balls. They're oddly shaped balls though, awkward. I have to do very good on this exam, one, and, two, I feel almost like I am already home, or at least like I'm the waiting room before getting home. It's probably because of the in-betweenness of my surroundings.

Update on living on $20 a day: It doesn't even phase me anymore. I'm eating oatmeal every morning, a big lunch and then beer at night. Perfect, right?

It's tacky, but I like the holidays just like I love the Toronto Film Festival. It's big and ugly and overall pretty stupid, but I don't know ... It's as much the lights all over the place as it is a different experience of time, I guess. Maybe this only resonates with people in school, I don't know.

Also, I'm reading F. Scotty Fitzgerald's "This Side of Paradise" and it's quite lovely thank-you very much. I will be admitting far too much about who I really am to say that I strongly identify in many ways with Amory Blaine. If I ever get a cat or have a child I will call it Amory.

St. Catharines: See you Friday?
Toronto: See you Saturday!

N

Today:

Personal crime spree escalated to unprecedented levels as I boosted a burrito and coke from the caf. Graeme says they'll deport me. I'm like, "Please."

Went to Jimmy's and sat at the bar. You have to destroy yourself once in awhile, if not nightly. Throw yourself into the storm and just die. If only to glimpse the feeling of resurrection when you wake up.

I love you all.

N

I did a google image search on "hip hop christmas" and this turned up on the second page.

At 11:40 tonight I was in the library and got a drunken call from Inga, my German classmate. From what I could decipher of the message, she was going to crash some party. A University of Chicago party! Apparently they were doing keg stands and everything! I got super excited as I had never been to a proper American University party. It wasn't the sorority-life-Animal House debauchery I expected though. Mostly young white dude and a smattering of their mall-chick girlfriends. I was invited to do a keg stand by a suit clad member of Sigma Delta Something (who asked me if I knew greek and then attempted to explain the eytmology of his frat's name!), but was honestly too embarassed to admit that I didn't actually even know what a keg stand was. What, you stand on your head and drink out of the keg or something? The music they were playing was awful. I love Bruce Springsteen, but playing him at 1:00 AM turns the party so aryan-stooge all of the sudden, no? I plugged my ipod in for awhile and we danced to Ciara and some Skee-lo mash-up (which some laguna beach cast-offs seemed to really love). Inga was super drunk and was being super funny by alternately grinding with dudes, falling down, and spilling beer all over the place. She garnered some glares from the cock heavy crowd that was alternately disapproving and weighing its options.

I'm like ...

Yesterday, I saved a lot. I spent only 20 cents! Can you believe it? (It was 10 cent coffee day at the student coffee shop.)

Today's Reciept:

Coffee - 1.85
Lunch at Salonica (Chicken Rice soup and Turkey salad sandwich) - 7.00
Copying - 7.00
Coffee - 1.35
Supper (stir-fry - I got a juice and and egg roll at a five finger discount though) - 4.49
Tea - .50
3 pints Miller Genuine Draft at Jimmy's - 8.25

Total - $30.44

Conclusion: I went over budget sure, but I was rolling over from the day before.

I recorded a thought memo too:

Dec 1, 2pm: "I just walked past a squirrel in a garbage can and it can't get out. I'm going to go back to see if it can get out [I was kind of scared to peek over the edge of the can. I had visions of a squirrel attaching itself to my head and biting my face off.] Oh good, it got out. I was worried that... " [The recording cuts off here. I was going to say that I was worried that I might have to try to call the humane society and try to explain this absurd situation.]


Sorry, this blog is taking a turn for the worst. Reflection and insight are on vacation.

N