Get Burned?

I have some sonic aloe.

Pardon My Manners

Here are the songs the shitty pub-with-sidewalk patio-that-pays-cops-to-skirt-noise-bylaws-and-occasionally-parks-cigarette boats, rented sportscars, and/or ninetendo x-box mobiles across the street from my house has played for me already tonight, harshing not only my hawkeye exam focus but also killing future jam status at future parties and good-time events (with comments):

-"Goldigger" - Kind of gold-standard status. Maybe unkillable

-"Ery'body in the club get tipsy" (?) - Barely heard it, indifference must've killed auditory stimulus.

-"Sexy, Can I" - This song slightly ruled me, mainly on the strength of Young Berg's verse, for about 1.5 days two weeks ago. You get three quarrters through it though and he mentions "sliding up and down a pole" and it turns out "sexy" is a stripper and that's just gross. Am I just naive? Do strippers actually have "Gucci on the feet, Marc Jacobs on the thigh"? Maybe Ray J just has a pole in his house. A house pole. 

-"Flashing Lights" - unkillable. 

-"American Boy" - Heavy on the Kanye much, "Pint"? Not sure this song has "legs" really, and I don't need to listen to it vis a vis re: speakers from cars playing it all over my ears. BUT, BLITZKRIEG, anyone? "Can-Indian Boy"? Pretty good, tho not enough Canadian references.

[Woah, someone just said, "Get in there, hammer!" at the bar!]

-Some other stuff, maybe Technotronic and Public Enemy and Bob Marley or some sort of playlist that a shitty fake-pub- Guiness-sponsored satellite radio station run by part-time Pandora employees throws together. You know, later on they'll get "real" and throw on some Johnny Cash.

-If they play Wiz Khalifa or Wiley we'll see how unfuckwithable my chosen summer jams are.

Oh yeah, here's this guy, "Community Watch" (The "o" should be the picture of an open eye). He is on my street everyday either hanging out in front of his car (which he may live in) or riding his bike with the frisbee stuck in the spokes down the sidewalk, deftly weaving between pedestrians. He looks like Beethoven and I haven't figured exactly what his perversion is yet. Like maybe he falls off his bike onto people?

Also, he sometimes tries to sell his parking spot.

Keep On Rolling

The other day I was eating lunch out on the "quad" and some guy rode up on a unicycle, dismounted, then pulled some juggling pins out and started getting really heavy with my I-gotta-get-out-of-this-place vibe. 

That really happened, but also I have completed two 36 hour exams in the past week, and tomorrow is the last one. I ran out of contacts and have been wearing my low-perscription glasses and I can't tell if I'm giving people uncomfortable stares or not. The situation is better than adderall for distraction though.

Here is a bulleted list of my plans:

- Dancehall summersplash

-St. Louis for "workshop"

-Steak et frites

-Not commuting 2 hours everyday

-Dodge. Hell out.

P.S. It's great that the office has a new HR person, but I'm gonna miss Toby so much. Seriously, most fave underrated character. I try to do Toby imitations all of the time, but it's really hard.

Miss Imaginary Canada Much?

I bought this record recently in New York because I tend to buy things Canadian even if I'm kind of on the fence about how they sound. BUT, it has since then migrated to my ipod.

Apparently it sold pretty well in the States due to its popularity in New York discos. When I hear it though, I imagine the dancefloor at the Kee to Bala and Late Greats on CityTV.



Ugh, Chicago.

Hair Dramz

N: Dear Josh, I am sorry that I did not notice your new beard. If you like we can go to that new beard store at the mall this weekend. Xo, Nathan

J: I can barely write you this message because the tears have rusted away my cell phone chassis. But maybe the sun will shine on me today...

N: Just be good, and I will take you to La Bearderie

N: Formerly Beardables.

J: My Dad used to take me there after Sunday brunch. We would spend hours drawing combs through the practice mannequins.

That happened this morning, but guess what else? My correspondent here was recently asked to be in an AllState advertisement. The concept of the ad was a normal* American family portrait being invaded by an unsavory visitor. Being that Josh's look is 1986 tilt-a-whirl operator, he was perfect for the job. We got to see the proofs, but because the ad was the kind that only pops up once in awhile (like when you log out of yahoo mail or your pinkberry account) we never got to see it.

However, there were some people who DID get to see it, and they are not happy.

Let's just say that there's a storm of controversy brewing among a certain interest group with a very large membership, global connections and massive spending power.


*What is "normal" right? Do we even know? I'm having some people over in my dorm room later if you want to come over.